差不多4点。。。

还没睡。。。

~~~~~

Its almost xmas-time, and I still have yet to complete ANY of my shopping. Wondering if there's going to be any chrimbo cheer in the Lee household this year, or if things will escalate again. Missing my paternal extended family... The quirky uncles and the clever conversations with my cousins. It's weird, how one side of my family might as well be white, while the other can barely process English.

I'm thinking of the Christmases back in Hong Kong, when the buildings that line up squished against each other in Central show off their perennial displays, hundreds of feet of lights depicting snowflakes or reindeer or candy canes (in a city, mind you, that neither receives any snow nor sells candy canes to my knowledge - I used to wonder why people revered walking sticks so much) that seem to stretch endlessly into the hazy grey night sky as I used to crane my neck to stare at them out the car window driving through the district. My mom would dress me and the sis up in matching ugly green velvet holiday dresses with equally ugly velvet hairbands that itched, and poinsettias flooded the lobbies of every apartment highrise and commercial building and mall entrance. Pacific Mall, with its gigantic signature flowerpots I used to imagine emptying and hiding in if there ever was an invasion of any sort (I had an overactive imagination and a neurotic fear of everything as a kid) would house perfectly triangular christmas trees, the only evergreens I'd ever seen until I was 5 and moved to the States. Everyone wore huge parkas and down-filled jackets as though it were below freezing, although in tropical Hong Kong the weather never really typically dipped below 40; my mom wore her signature furs on visits to the family. The harbour glimmered with the extra million watts of light that made the city shine. My dad would hustle everyone (grandparents, nannies, brother, sister, mom, and himself) into our brown van that could proudly house six squished adults and three preschool children, and we'd drive to the far end of the fishing port on the far side of the island famous for its gigantic shrimp, and we'd eat pure seafood for christmas dinner.

That was 16 years ago.

I wonder what christmases in other households are like. Are they glazed with frost and holiday sweaters and christmas lights, like in the commercials? Do they use the dining room and dust out their crystal glasses and silverware? Do their cousins wreak havoc on the dog and family really gather around to sing christmas songs? It doesn't sound like much fun, but it must be nice to have family traditions, cheeseball ones and all.

One day I'll create my own traditions, but I haven't got much creativity for them now. I'll wait for my future self to figure it out.