Back to Basics

It's been such a refreshing change of pace, this summer. From this crazy whirlwind of a year, juggling my internship, RCC, aKDPhi and being mommy, to my schoolwork, my boyfriend (now coming up 11 months!) and my family. I've sacrificed more than I realized, but I've been insisting all along that it would all be worth it. and it has been.

But I'm tired. I didn't realize just how tired until I was able to take this one deep breath and notice how much I'd been missing; notice how little I interact with the friends that aren't associated or not workmates; how grey my father's hair has been getting; how I've been missing out on cultivating new and exciting friendships as well as maintaining old ones; how my grades have been lackluster due to such a hectic schedule and inability to keep my priorities in check (academics, too late do I realize now, ALWAYS come first). This past year has really taken a toll on my nerves and body, and I don't think if it weren't for the steady, loving people that held me up when I let myself break down in private, I would be quite sane today.

So I'm working on it. Working on myself, making sure that I work my butt off for ME and MY grades before anything first. Working on these new friendships, getting to know new people and looking for prospective ******s. Working on mending this huge gap between my family and I, watching late night movies with my brother, gardening for my dad and early morning diner breakfast runs with my mom. Learning what to do with all these newfound time, filling it up with what I enjoy instead of what I must do for the sake of my job, my organization, my sisters. Learning WHAT it is that I enjoy, which was surprisingly simple (reverting back to my nerd days, and finding the next book or drama to obsessively pursue). I'm going back to the basics, finding out what essential parts of me are still here, and have not dissipated in my pursuit of ambition or success. I've owed this to myself for a very long time now.