Random Observations

I've just spent my first day in Rome, and while I could go on and on and on about HOW FREAKING UNBELIEVABLY GORGEOUS everything is, I think my FB album pretty much explains all of it. Instead, there's so quirky things about Rome and Italy I want to remember.

1. There are billboards displayed on every single road. even the country bumpkin ones, where you think you could evade the commericals but you turn a sharp corner and there's a half-naked woman selling apple juice in your face. No joke. Oh yea, and these billboards mostly consist of two things, which brings me to 2 & 3

2. People are evidently VERY open about sexuality and the human body, because I've seen more gay guys kissing and half naked women on posters and billboards than I have in NYC. Seriously. It's kinda cool that they're so open and liberal about it, but those italian models makeme wanna cut back on the gelato a teensy bit. (yea right, who am I kidding?!)

3. Football is EVERYWHERE. In every corner of the airport, plastered across buses, and yes, in the aforementioned billboards as well. Again, I don't mind (hubba hubba =D), and the men, I will admit, are QUITE gorgeous here. Actually, fuck, everyone is gorgeous here. Being Asian and looking a little different from the rest of the American students here is a bit of a plus for me, I guess; at least I'm not plain or blend into the crowd easily.

4. Rome really is the city for love. There's passionate Italian couples everywhere, and the people are sweet and accomodating (besides the jerks that laugh at my terrible Italiano).

UPDATE

5. There are old-fashioned iron fountains EVERYWHERE, just for drinking. they're pumped out of the centuries-old aqueducts that still, to this day, work. we refill our water bottles and wash our face every time we pass one - the water is cold and delicious. Incredible, how easy it is to get along in Roma.

Day 5

Went to the first day of classes today. Woke up at 8, rolled around for a bit before hopping up, throwing on my romper, and jumping on the tram to get my ass to class. The first one - intercultural communication - has around 12 students, and the teacher immediately proceeds to tell us about the daily reading assignment and paper. We watch "Monsoon Wedding", which is actually pretty damn good, and I head next door after class with Allaire for our next one, Survey of Rhetoric. It only has four students, and the professor is a quirky old academic that compares Tupac to Gorgias. I head back to the apt with Liz and Ryan after class, and chat with Marcia for a while and try to nap. Catherine and Robert get back, and we all head out around 5 to catch an english viewing of Eclipse all the way across Roma. We revisit the Pantheon afterwards and grab a panini (where I left a beautiful purple belt I bought for Marcia...), then the Fountain of the Four Rivers (Piazza Navona). We walk back the full four miles... my legs are getting super strong! More class tomorrow...

Journal for Roma

Day 1: arrived at Rome, slept off jetlag and explored Trastavere (Rome's oldest neighborhood and now my temporary backyard). Got lost in back alleys of Rome and found street after street of postcard-worthy buildings and cobblestone and signs. Actually, the entirety of Rome could probably be a postcard. Ate dinner with Roomies Mary-Margaret and Alyse - carbonara with a glass of sauvignon. Passed out from weak stomach.

Day 2: Orientation. Had ridiculously strong cappucino, met Liz, Ryan, Catherine, Robert, and Ryan (my non couple buddy) and attended orientation all day. Had ice cream for lunch because of weak stomach. Walked to the Colosseum after last orientation, saw the Roman Forum, the Circus Maximus, Colosseum, and other theatres and crazy/incredible Roman ruins and sights. Wandered back to our side of the Tiber and found a neat place to eat (bruschetta, prosciutto e melone, and fruit for only 8 euro - score!), grabbed some wine and beer and headed back to our apartment. spent the night playing Kings (aka "circle of death/fire, or Mr. Dickhead?! WTF?!) and Never have I ever.... started off with a bad one (never have i ever been tied up... woops) but recovered my innocence in the end =]

Day 3: woke up late from the night before, went on Bus Tour of Christian Rome with Ryan, Liz, and Ryan. Saw St. Peters Basilica, some freaky Christian catacombs (where Ryan scared the shit out of me), and St Pauls Basilica. I was bowled over by how beautiful and intricate everything was. How grand and reverent... Hard to believe that Christianity was ever a poor religion. Wish I could upload pictures, but the damn wifi on my phone is acting up. Went to meetngreet cafe, met some other students and met up with Robert and Catherine. Ryan ditched, and we headed back to the apartment to get pretty for the night. Wandered around Trastevere at night - what a sight to see, with everything lit up and the streets packed with locals! finally found a restaurant (between getting lost, getting distracted with a pyro artist, and looking at menus), and ate. Ordered a pizza e vegetable, was not as good as the ones everyone else had yesterday. picked up some bangin gelato (tiramisu was definitely the winner, whoop!) and headed down to the Tiber to check out the nightlife. Everything was PACKED TO THE BRIM with people, food, games, and so much beer. Met up with Ryan the ditcher (who left with party people 20 mins after we arrived), bought some beers by the River, and toasted to Independence Day. Went back around 130 to catch some sleep so I could wake up in the morning for my Sperlonga trip. Woke up at 330 to a drunken call from the Ditcher at the vatican, completely lost. Hang up and sleep.

Day 4 - Wake up at 7 with only four hours of sleep, head over to the meeting point with Alyse and Mary Margaret. Met a bunch of girls on the bus on the way over the Sperlonga, including a bunch of kids from Rutgers, and basically find a new circle of girlfriends for (at least) the day. Arrived at Sperlonga, the most BEAUTIFUL Mediterranean beach village, complete with white stucco walls and blue doors and views to die for. End up swimming and tanning and eating lunch (had a paella-esque risotto with shrimp and crab and mussels and clams - yum!). It was too hot to go back to tan, so we hike back up to the main village to soak in the gorgeous sights and eat gelato and smoke in the town square. We finally leave for Rome, a three hour trip on the bus where everyone passed out, and here I am. School starts tomorrow, so more updates later.

Back to Basics

It's been such a refreshing change of pace, this summer. From this crazy whirlwind of a year, juggling my internship, RCC, aKDPhi and being mommy, to my schoolwork, my boyfriend (now coming up 11 months!) and my family. I've sacrificed more than I realized, but I've been insisting all along that it would all be worth it. and it has been.

But I'm tired. I didn't realize just how tired until I was able to take this one deep breath and notice how much I'd been missing; notice how little I interact with the friends that aren't associated or not workmates; how grey my father's hair has been getting; how I've been missing out on cultivating new and exciting friendships as well as maintaining old ones; how my grades have been lackluster due to such a hectic schedule and inability to keep my priorities in check (academics, too late do I realize now, ALWAYS come first). This past year has really taken a toll on my nerves and body, and I don't think if it weren't for the steady, loving people that held me up when I let myself break down in private, I would be quite sane today.

So I'm working on it. Working on myself, making sure that I work my butt off for ME and MY grades before anything first. Working on these new friendships, getting to know new people and looking for prospective ******s. Working on mending this huge gap between my family and I, watching late night movies with my brother, gardening for my dad and early morning diner breakfast runs with my mom. Learning what to do with all these newfound time, filling it up with what I enjoy instead of what I must do for the sake of my job, my organization, my sisters. Learning WHAT it is that I enjoy, which was surprisingly simple (reverting back to my nerd days, and finding the next book or drama to obsessively pursue). I'm going back to the basics, finding out what essential parts of me are still here, and have not dissipated in my pursuit of ambition or success. I've owed this to myself for a very long time now.

Precious.

I've mentioned before that I often think of death, and how satisfied I would be with what I've accomplished if my life were to be suddenly cut short. I've always lived by this thought, by the determination that, should that ever happen to me, that I would never look back and see missed opportunities and half-hearted attempts. That I would look back, and see the legacy and the memories I've created, and harbor no regrets. Little did I know that I was thinking of Ying all along.

Ying was incredibly special to me. We were not close; when we spoke the rare times, she was nice but impersonal. But she represented so much to me - she was incredibly successful, a fearless and dedicated leader; she was smart, capable, and confident. She was part of the Cap and Skull Society, spearheaded the very first class of the AACC Internship, and, most importantly to me, re-dug RCC out of its ashes. She was everything I had hoped to become. Her name was carved into everything I accomplished, three steps ahead.

When I'd heard about her passing today, my thoughts immediately went to my thoughts about life, death, and success. Life is so incredibly precious, and could be taken away at any moment's notice. It does not wait for you to accomplish your goals, to mend friendships, to recover from heartbreak. You can't tell it to hold off until your birthday, can't promise it peaceful return in exchange for one last chance. To be able to look back, and believe that I have truly done everything I can and taken every opportunity I could, that is all I could wish for.

Rest in Peace, Ying. You will forever be VIVA RCC.

birthday cake!

Celebrating birthday a month early, since me nor the twin nor the pops will be in the same country for the first time ever. can't wait for the green tea cake from gateaux tonight... 've been craving cake since the last time I had it.

/fat.

but seriously, though, in the (almost) 21 years me and mei have celebrated our birthdays, we've never had a big shebang of a birthday party... and this is the last milestone for a while. I guess we'll just have to celebrate when we get back...

I feel obligated to do an end-of-the-year post, as I always do, but there's just too much to try to include in to the post, and it's not nearly dark enough outside yet for me to get contemplative. Will revert to drowning out my brain with korean dramas, as usual... i think my episodes finished downloading =]

Hey I'm interested in AACC but I'm a huge mix of ethnicities and it seems Asian orgs at Rutgers are intimidating if you aren't all about Asian life. How would i go about getting around to the AACC but still keeping my identity outside of the Asian label.

I'm so glad you asked! I completely understand what you mean about the Asian organizations on campus - they're all a great way to meet people and get involved, but alot of them are composed of very die-hard "Asian" Asian-Americans that don't really expand much outside of that network (I should know, I'm in quite a few!) - not that that's necessarily a bad thing!

The Asian American Cultural Center is a completely different sanction of Student Life though, and through this department you can actually access alot of incredible opportunities to meet people from ALL OVER the Rutgers University, not just the Asian American population. It has great connects to the other cultural centers, the CAPS office, other Student Life divisions and TONS of faculty, administrators, and student leaders that can help you find where you're most comfortable and happy. Rutgers is SUCH a huge school, and there's such a huge emphasis on Student Life, you'll be hard-pressed to find an area of student interest that's not covered!

Having such a diverse background like yours is such a blessing, because you can explore the different facets of your ethnicities and cultural history, and even current social issues people of color ALL experience today. The great thing that I've experienced while working at the AACC is that alot of the social and political issues we discuss as a community reaches so much further than the confines of the label "Chinese-American" or "Korean-American", but as a collective minority student population. Even by joining Asian Student Council, you'll be able to meet representatives from the Latino Student Council or the United Black Council or even the RUSA assembly, giving you great networks that expand way, way past just the "Asian" niche.

For you, I think the key balance is to figure out how to explore that Asian American side of you without being caught up with the "Asian label", as you put it haha. For me personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with being Asian-American -along with everything else you are! I take great pride in being a Chinese AMERICAN, and while I've found other opportunities to expand my network past the Asian community (namely, through the AACC and my sorority), just visiting the AACC can open alot of doors for you to meet and get involved with the AACC.

That was a really long rant, but the bottom line of action I would recommend you would be to:

1. Come to the AACC and talk to any of the Interns (myself included, if I'm still around next year HEH HEH) and/or JI LEE, the director of the AACC and quite a lady. Ji's the perfect person to hook you up to the AACC, as she's the resident boss lady and does EVERYTHING on campus! She knows EVERYTHING... lol. Also, the interns have alot of great connects too, and having been involved with the Center for at least a year or two, they'll be able to give great advice for what the next step for you to get involved would be.

2. Check out the Junior Internship program! It's a wonderful way to get involved with the Center and meet all sorts of people - student leaders, faculty, deans, administrators; PEOPLE who shake things up at Rutgers and make an impact. There is an application process, but don't be afraid to ask about it and see if it'll be something you're interested in! It was one of the most rewarding programs I'd ever experienced (and that's saying alot, I've been through alot!) and DEFINITELY worth at least checking out!

If you've got any additional questions and don't mind emailing me, hollur at fayemao89@gmail.com

Ask away!

so if you don't mind me asking, what colleges did you apply and get into? :D

oooh boy... that was a long time ago! but lets see, off the top of my head, I was... accepted into College of William and Mary, waitlisted at Tufts and Northwestern (but was later accepted into Northwestern -___-), and deferred from UChicago. I don't think I was denied admissions anywhere, but no one wanted me first round either =( But to be quite honest, I was accepted early into Rutgers, and I pretty much gave up on some of my applications after that point... I think I always knew I would end up at Rutgers. Ironically, I didn't apply to any of the Ivy Leagues, or even NYU for that matter, because

1. I knew my family wouldn't be able to afford it (my dad made it very clear that I would be eventually footing the bill), and
2. A whole slew of the same AP kids I went to high school with were applying to those schools, and I wasn't excited about the prospects of going to COLLEGE with half of them - having competed with them throughout all of high school, I'd had enough of proving myself to other people, and didn't want college to be a continuation of that.

I'll admit, Rutgers was definitely not my first choice - I was looking for the textbook example of the quaint, academically-oriented private college with my small circle of equally nerdy friends. But what I found here at Rutgers is worth so much more than I think that could've ever given me - it gave me a chance to explore who I was beyond the books and the competition, to see what I was capable of. I found a HUGE network, an incredible set of friends and sisters I know I could always trust and fall back on, and I found a new perspective to look at myself and the people around me and the world I live in.

Sometimes I see the friends from my hometown that have gone on to attend the "desired" schools, and not changed or grown one bit. They still rely on each other as their main source of friendship, ever tied to their high school days and ways and perspectives. And while I still keep ties to them and join them whenever I can, I can't help but think what would've happened if I had joined them at their schools. Would I have been as inextricably tied and unwilling to push myself forward? Would I have been the same as I used to be, just a passive observer of the action that I wanted to partake in? (no dirty innuendos intended!) Or would I have found my way out of the shell of what I used to be, all the same?

HOLY CRAP that was a friggin essay LOL. Sorry if I went way past what your expectations were of this answer. But I tend to wax philosophical around this time of the year...

Ask away!

Nutella Pocket Cookies

looks. so. fucking. delicious. especially right out of the oven...

I hope I have the courage to find that freedom.