When did time fly by so quickly? When did life get so complicated, and feel so grown-up and troubled? The realities of age has hit me like a brick this semester, and can’t say that I’m taking it well. I’ve always been self-sufficient and confident, but as the prospects of graduation draws nearer, and old age begins to affect my loved ones, I begin to realize the magnitude of the responsibilities that I’m about to undertake within the next year.
I logged into Degree Navigator today, and clicked through all of my programs.
SAS Requirements Completed: 5 of 5
Communications Requirements Completed: 5 of 6
Psychology Requirements Completed: 6 of 7
Philosophy Requirements Completed: 1 of 1
After this point, there will be no checklist to fulfill, no completion of requirements that will dictate when one chapter of our life will end and when the next begins. I’ve always been a devoted rule-follower, the best at looking forward at my next goal and completing it with passion and focus. But what’s in store for me next? What should my next steps be, and which way do I go? And why do I feel as though, despite my confidence and self-esteem, I am the only one so lost? Do I take the direction of nonprofit, and pursue my passions in political and social work? Do I go for the security of Public Relations, something I know I will excel in but have no particular interest for? Or do I stay in the world of academia, an environment reassuring and comforting to me, but makes me claustrophobic and sheltered? And what about my original passion in Child Psychology?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The Sublimity of Cetrella
Sublimity is an all-encompassing word used to describe the emotionally appealing and moving power of a particular noun (thing, person, place); regardless of the context with which it is used, sublimity has always referred to the divinity a thing can encompass. In Longinus’ definition of sublimity, he uses the term to describe the higher elevated thought or language, often used to describe rhetoric and the awe-inspiring or persuasive power of a discourse or text. But in my usage, I will use the definition of sublimity in reference to the loftiness or aesthetic elevation of a particular place or thing; in particular, of a place that has achieved such an inspiring and timeless aura and experience that could transcend any rift of language or philosophy or time. This is in reference to Immanuel Kant’s understanding of sublime – that sublimity is to be found in a formless object, unable to be replicated or shaped by any effort but sublime of its own accord and in its very existence.
I have found a place that has fit this definition, ironically, in a place surrounded and contained by materialism and expensively quantified, capitalistic lifestyles that attempt to cultivate the beautiful in imitation of sublimity, but not quite reaching it. It is so well hidden that it has retained its ethereal quality; in fact, we did not search for it but rather stumbled into it, with a guide that fit the exact caregiver of such a sublime place.
To begin understanding why I chose this place as the subject of sublimity, I will first explain the circumstances that brought me there in the first place. The location of the sublime, a valley in the heart of Capri called Cetrella, can only be accessed by taking the single-person cable car up to the highest peak of the island, and then choosing to take the rocky dirt road down instead of the 10 minute cable car ride back. It is because of this that it is so carefully guarded; the 4 mile steep hike back into Anacapri is no mean feat, and so mostly avoided by those not daring or motivated enough to see the entirety of the island. My group of friends and I begin the hike wearily, only to run into an old Italian/German gentleman that communicates with us through hand gestures, and waves for us to follow him. I guessed his age to be around the 70s, judging from the wiry health of his body and the way he gracefully and expertly maneuvers through the rocky dirt paths, a string of kids a quarter of his age tripping along behind him (we later find out he is close to 90 years old). The road forks, and he leads us down (literally) the road less traveled, a narrow dirt pathway with ribs of tree roots threatening our ankles (I have a splinter as proof) until we reach a clearing with a workshop and, in the distance, the whitewashed domed cap of a church in the distance. Next to the workshop, a terrace is perched precariously on the edge of the cliff, and the gentleman sits us down and yells through the workshop doors, procuring a band of sweaty, middle-aged Italian men from its depths. (The view from the terrace, as well as the site of the clearing and workshop and church itself, as a part of the sublimity of the experience, but more of that later.) They pull chairs and tables and a tablecloth onto the terrace, and then the parade of food begins – a full five course meal, complete with wine, water, and coffee. It’s hospitality that we’re unaccustomed to, and we’re wary of their kindness, but the appeal of the food and the view overpowers us, and we dive in after some hesitation. One of the workmen, in broken English, explains to us who they are and what was this place tucked away in the heart of Capri: the men were part of a society called “Amici di Cetrella”, and they were a group, lead by Antonino (our gentleman guide!) to preserve this valley of Cetrella from the commercialism that the rest of the island had been overtaken with. The land that the terrace, clearing, church, workshop, and a nearby home (that had been transformed into a museum by the society) sat on had been under speculation to be completely mowed over and replaced by a golf course, another by-product of the capitalism that ran the popular vacation spot for the wealthy. Since this speculation, the organization teamed up with locals and the government to fight such attempts to commercialize this last natural gem of Capri; now, the property is carefully managed and kept by the men in the workshop, who work there once a week every summer to repair the foundation and walls of the church, workshop, and museum. We had managed to call on them right after their afternoon meal, and were thereby rewarded with the surplus of their lunch – one of the most delicious meals and wonderful dining experiences I had ever experienced. After our meal, Antonino, our elderly guide, takes care to lead us through a winding path up to the church, behind the church doors and into the basement, where some men reside (their relation to the church was unexplained, but it can be assumed that they are the caretakers or pastors of the church). He explains in hand gestures and repetitive Italian that he had been the one who repaired the crumbling foundation of the church over 25 years ago. There is more to this story, but this description alone is sufficient to begin understanding the sublimity of this place and the experience that brought us there.
The location of Cetrella, as mentioned previously, is nestled in the heart of Capri, a thousand meters up a precarious slope from Anacapri and down an equally precarious path from the peak of the island. The location is key to the sublimity of Cetrella; where the island is marked in time by the commercialism of its tourists and inhabitants, transformed by the wealth of its patrons into a bustling, haughty, narcissistic playground of the elite, Cetrella remains timeless and preserved in a veil of careful seclusion. Without this seclusion, the rarity and magnitude of which its inhabitants, views, and emotional appeal embody would be merely beautiful but not precious or as awe-inspiring. Sublimity can only work if it can induce an emotional response from the onlooker by introducing a remarkable thing that has never been seen before, or can be replicated to be seen somewhere else; the experience of taking in the sublime must exist only in that experience, at that place and nowhere else.
The motivation of the men is also central to the sublimity of the place. Longinus argues that the ethical qualities of the subject of sublimity are key to the magnitude and aesthetic gravity the sublime object holds. Because the “Amici di Cetrella” are attempting to preserve the perfect, untouched and simple beauty of the land from the capitalism that would undoubtedly manipulate it into another product of wealth and class order, they recognize the sublime quality of the land that should not be eradicated. As Kant believed, the sublime is simple and sacred; it can not be manipulated and cultivated for any other purpose than to further its sublimity and the appreciation of it, or it will lose its awe-inducing power. Because this type of qualification of the sublime does not fall under the capitalistic measurement of a thing, the sublimity of it cannot be furthered by capitalism (which aims only to make profit out of its qualified goods). Furthermore, the hospitality and open arms with which we were received, and the generosity of the organization is only further elucidation to the sublime quality of their ungreedy personalities and what Aristotle would refer to as their “divine souls”. The sublime beauty of the valley itself would no longer exist without the morality and good hearts of these men, and so they too are part of the sublime quality of Cetrella.
Finally, it is the site itself and the view it offers that is the most awe-inspiring of all the qualities of the sublime. The terrace, as well as the back of the church, looks out over the aqua-blue waters of the ocean punctuated by the craggy cliffs, rocks, and streaks of white foam speedboats leave behind as they cut through the water. Anacapri can be seen if you climb the sloping stairs to the east side of the church, but aside from the occasional speedboat, one can easily imagine himself in a place completely uninhabited and untouched by man. The site itself looks like a description right out of “Anne of Green Gables”, all filtered rays of light beaming through flowering branches and strands of grass spilling out and tripping you on the fine dirt trails. The freedom and liberty of the land that allows it to take its natural shape means that it is naturally sublime and not shaped and cultivated – sublimity cannot be artificially or premeditatively created, as demonstrated by Cetrella. It has a (physical and aesthetic)loftiness or greatness that can attempt to be imitated by others, attempted to be encapsulated in photographs but the experience with which it comes with can never be duplicated.
This is the sublimity of Cetrella.
I have found a place that has fit this definition, ironically, in a place surrounded and contained by materialism and expensively quantified, capitalistic lifestyles that attempt to cultivate the beautiful in imitation of sublimity, but not quite reaching it. It is so well hidden that it has retained its ethereal quality; in fact, we did not search for it but rather stumbled into it, with a guide that fit the exact caregiver of such a sublime place.
To begin understanding why I chose this place as the subject of sublimity, I will first explain the circumstances that brought me there in the first place. The location of the sublime, a valley in the heart of Capri called Cetrella, can only be accessed by taking the single-person cable car up to the highest peak of the island, and then choosing to take the rocky dirt road down instead of the 10 minute cable car ride back. It is because of this that it is so carefully guarded; the 4 mile steep hike back into Anacapri is no mean feat, and so mostly avoided by those not daring or motivated enough to see the entirety of the island. My group of friends and I begin the hike wearily, only to run into an old Italian/German gentleman that communicates with us through hand gestures, and waves for us to follow him. I guessed his age to be around the 70s, judging from the wiry health of his body and the way he gracefully and expertly maneuvers through the rocky dirt paths, a string of kids a quarter of his age tripping along behind him (we later find out he is close to 90 years old). The road forks, and he leads us down (literally) the road less traveled, a narrow dirt pathway with ribs of tree roots threatening our ankles (I have a splinter as proof) until we reach a clearing with a workshop and, in the distance, the whitewashed domed cap of a church in the distance. Next to the workshop, a terrace is perched precariously on the edge of the cliff, and the gentleman sits us down and yells through the workshop doors, procuring a band of sweaty, middle-aged Italian men from its depths. (The view from the terrace, as well as the site of the clearing and workshop and church itself, as a part of the sublimity of the experience, but more of that later.) They pull chairs and tables and a tablecloth onto the terrace, and then the parade of food begins – a full five course meal, complete with wine, water, and coffee. It’s hospitality that we’re unaccustomed to, and we’re wary of their kindness, but the appeal of the food and the view overpowers us, and we dive in after some hesitation. One of the workmen, in broken English, explains to us who they are and what was this place tucked away in the heart of Capri: the men were part of a society called “Amici di Cetrella”, and they were a group, lead by Antonino (our gentleman guide!) to preserve this valley of Cetrella from the commercialism that the rest of the island had been overtaken with. The land that the terrace, clearing, church, workshop, and a nearby home (that had been transformed into a museum by the society) sat on had been under speculation to be completely mowed over and replaced by a golf course, another by-product of the capitalism that ran the popular vacation spot for the wealthy. Since this speculation, the organization teamed up with locals and the government to fight such attempts to commercialize this last natural gem of Capri; now, the property is carefully managed and kept by the men in the workshop, who work there once a week every summer to repair the foundation and walls of the church, workshop, and museum. We had managed to call on them right after their afternoon meal, and were thereby rewarded with the surplus of their lunch – one of the most delicious meals and wonderful dining experiences I had ever experienced. After our meal, Antonino, our elderly guide, takes care to lead us through a winding path up to the church, behind the church doors and into the basement, where some men reside (their relation to the church was unexplained, but it can be assumed that they are the caretakers or pastors of the church). He explains in hand gestures and repetitive Italian that he had been the one who repaired the crumbling foundation of the church over 25 years ago. There is more to this story, but this description alone is sufficient to begin understanding the sublimity of this place and the experience that brought us there.
The location of Cetrella, as mentioned previously, is nestled in the heart of Capri, a thousand meters up a precarious slope from Anacapri and down an equally precarious path from the peak of the island. The location is key to the sublimity of Cetrella; where the island is marked in time by the commercialism of its tourists and inhabitants, transformed by the wealth of its patrons into a bustling, haughty, narcissistic playground of the elite, Cetrella remains timeless and preserved in a veil of careful seclusion. Without this seclusion, the rarity and magnitude of which its inhabitants, views, and emotional appeal embody would be merely beautiful but not precious or as awe-inspiring. Sublimity can only work if it can induce an emotional response from the onlooker by introducing a remarkable thing that has never been seen before, or can be replicated to be seen somewhere else; the experience of taking in the sublime must exist only in that experience, at that place and nowhere else.
The motivation of the men is also central to the sublimity of the place. Longinus argues that the ethical qualities of the subject of sublimity are key to the magnitude and aesthetic gravity the sublime object holds. Because the “Amici di Cetrella” are attempting to preserve the perfect, untouched and simple beauty of the land from the capitalism that would undoubtedly manipulate it into another product of wealth and class order, they recognize the sublime quality of the land that should not be eradicated. As Kant believed, the sublime is simple and sacred; it can not be manipulated and cultivated for any other purpose than to further its sublimity and the appreciation of it, or it will lose its awe-inducing power. Because this type of qualification of the sublime does not fall under the capitalistic measurement of a thing, the sublimity of it cannot be furthered by capitalism (which aims only to make profit out of its qualified goods). Furthermore, the hospitality and open arms with which we were received, and the generosity of the organization is only further elucidation to the sublime quality of their ungreedy personalities and what Aristotle would refer to as their “divine souls”. The sublime beauty of the valley itself would no longer exist without the morality and good hearts of these men, and so they too are part of the sublime quality of Cetrella.
Finally, it is the site itself and the view it offers that is the most awe-inspiring of all the qualities of the sublime. The terrace, as well as the back of the church, looks out over the aqua-blue waters of the ocean punctuated by the craggy cliffs, rocks, and streaks of white foam speedboats leave behind as they cut through the water. Anacapri can be seen if you climb the sloping stairs to the east side of the church, but aside from the occasional speedboat, one can easily imagine himself in a place completely uninhabited and untouched by man. The site itself looks like a description right out of “Anne of Green Gables”, all filtered rays of light beaming through flowering branches and strands of grass spilling out and tripping you on the fine dirt trails. The freedom and liberty of the land that allows it to take its natural shape means that it is naturally sublime and not shaped and cultivated – sublimity cannot be artificially or premeditatively created, as demonstrated by Cetrella. It has a (physical and aesthetic)loftiness or greatness that can attempt to be imitated by others, attempted to be encapsulated in photographs but the experience with which it comes with can never be duplicated.
This is the sublimity of Cetrella.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
MINE
btw, if you happen to be reading this, I'm sorry if my writing's been sucking lately. It's just that i've been completely overwhelmed with everything that I've seen and done lately that I have no time or energy to process it thoughtfully and put it into the words I can't seem to find right now. For now, this blog will not serve as my medium for thoughtful expression, but merely as a journal to collect my experiences so that they won't be lost. More thoughtful entries later.
Week 2
Day 1 (of Week 2)
Classes began... the course material and discussions are incredibly interesting, but the workload is insane. i've already found myself spending alot of time doing homework... alot more than I usually do over a semester back at home. Meet Allaire and Chael, and afterwards head back to the apartment to chill. Talk to Marcia for the first time in weeks, and I realize how much i miss her - it really has been the longest time that we've been apart, and we're living such different lives right now... head out around 5 to watch Eclipse with Liz, Ryan, Catherine, and Robert. We literally trek all the way across Rome into the Touristy end, PAST the Pantheon, just to catch the movie in English. Was surprised by how good the movie was, and even better, how COMFY the seats in the Roman movie theater was - you literally get individual couches! Walked back to the Pantheon, grabbed a panini, and ate dinner on the fountain right staring at it's entrance. That's when it hit me- I'm not just any tourist in Rome - I live here now. I eat lunch on the steps of Roman arches and fountains that have been here for hundreds of years, staring at apartments and walking on cobblestone streets steeped in history - and I don't even realize how much I should be in awe of this. It was just another dinner, another place to sit down and chill in the shadow of the monument where Bernini and Victor Emmanuel now lies. Despite my newly found jadedness, we walk over to the Fountain of the Four Rivers (where in Angels and Demons, the Albino drowns the man before Tom Hanks gets the chance to save him), and I click away with my camera and pretend to be Robert Langdon. We trek all the way back to Trastevere, and grab gelato on the way - of course.
Day 2 - just another day of classes. we cook for the first time in our apartment, and we all eat together - just pasta with meat and vegetables. Manage to finish my homework and pass out by 1. I must wake up by 8:15 every day to get to class by 9... it's a weird occurrence for me, but I'm adapting to waking up earlier.
Day 3 - Class all day. Eat lunch with Allaire and Chael and two other boys, and then head back to Guarini campus to try to get some work done. End up falling asleep on the couch in the lounge instead, and wake up to Ryan's phone call for the cooking class. We make carbonara, some beef skewers with cheese and sage, and tiramisu with a gorgeous Italian chef, Andrea. I think he liked me (as a student) because he spoke to me more than the others and assigned me more cooking. Ate with Ryan, Josh, and Craig, and then left for the Spain/Germany World Cup game that was to be broadcasted by FIFA at the Villa Borghese. it takes us almost an hour to get there, and we get lost in Rome and end up watching the last five minutes of the game in an American bar in the middle of tourist district. I trek back quite late with Josh and Craig, and finish my papers and reading...
Day 4 - today! I have four readings and a paper to finish, and I am planning on going to Tuscany this weekend... it's going to be a great weekend, but I hate that I have these readings in the back of my mind... I'll just have to try to cram it all in now before I leave.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Random Observations
I've just spent my first day in Rome, and while I could go on and on and on about HOW FREAKING UNBELIEVABLY GORGEOUS everything is, I think my FB album pretty much explains all of it. Instead, there's so quirky things about Rome and Italy I want to remember.
1. There are billboards displayed on every single road. even the country bumpkin ones, where you think you could evade the commericals but you turn a sharp corner and there's a half-naked woman selling apple juice in your face. No joke. Oh yea, and these billboards mostly consist of two things, which brings me to 2 & 3
2. People are evidently VERY open about sexuality and the human body, because I've seen more gay guys kissing and half naked women on posters and billboards than I have in NYC. Seriously. It's kinda cool that they're so open and liberal about it, but those italian models makeme wanna cut back on the gelato a teensy bit. (yea right, who am I kidding?!)
3. Football is EVERYWHERE. In every corner of the airport, plastered across buses, and yes, in the aforementioned billboards as well. Again, I don't mind (hubba hubba =D), and the men, I will admit, are QUITE gorgeous here. Actually, fuck, everyone is gorgeous here. Being Asian and looking a little different from the rest of the American students here is a bit of a plus for me, I guess; at least I'm not plain or blend into the crowd easily.
4. Rome really is the city for love. There's passionate Italian couples everywhere, and the people are sweet and accomodating (besides the jerks that laugh at my terrible Italiano).
UPDATE
5. There are old-fashioned iron fountains EVERYWHERE, just for drinking. they're pumped out of the centuries-old aqueducts that still, to this day, work. we refill our water bottles and wash our face every time we pass one - the water is cold and delicious. Incredible, how easy it is to get along in Roma.
Day 5
Went to the first day of classes today. Woke up at 8, rolled around for a bit before hopping up, throwing on my romper, and jumping on the tram to get my ass to class. The first one - intercultural communication - has around 12 students, and the teacher immediately proceeds to tell us about the daily reading assignment and paper. We watch "Monsoon Wedding", which is actually pretty damn good, and I head next door after class with Allaire for our next one, Survey of Rhetoric. It only has four students, and the professor is a quirky old academic that compares Tupac to Gorgias. I head back to the apt with Liz and Ryan after class, and chat with Marcia for a while and try to nap. Catherine and Robert get back, and we all head out around 5 to catch an english viewing of Eclipse all the way across Roma. We revisit the Pantheon afterwards and grab a panini (where I left a beautiful purple belt I bought for Marcia...), then the Fountain of the Four Rivers (Piazza Navona). We walk back the full four miles... my legs are getting super strong! More class tomorrow...
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Journal for Roma
Day 1: arrived at Rome, slept off jetlag and explored Trastavere (Rome's oldest neighborhood and now my temporary backyard). Got lost in back alleys of Rome and found street after street of postcard-worthy buildings and cobblestone and signs. Actually, the entirety of Rome could probably be a postcard. Ate dinner with Roomies Mary-Margaret and Alyse - carbonara with a glass of sauvignon. Passed out from weak stomach.
Day 2: Orientation. Had ridiculously strong cappucino, met Liz, Ryan, Catherine, Robert, and Ryan (my non couple buddy) and attended orientation all day. Had ice cream for lunch because of weak stomach. Walked to the Colosseum after last orientation, saw the Roman Forum, the Circus Maximus, Colosseum, and other theatres and crazy/incredible Roman ruins and sights. Wandered back to our side of the Tiber and found a neat place to eat (bruschetta, prosciutto e melone, and fruit for only 8 euro - score!), grabbed some wine and beer and headed back to our apartment. spent the night playing Kings (aka "circle of death/fire, or Mr. Dickhead?! WTF?!) and Never have I ever.... started off with a bad one (never have i ever been tied up... woops) but recovered my innocence in the end =]
Day 3: woke up late from the night before, went on Bus Tour of Christian Rome with Ryan, Liz, and Ryan. Saw St. Peters Basilica, some freaky Christian catacombs (where Ryan scared the shit out of me), and St Pauls Basilica. I was bowled over by how beautiful and intricate everything was. How grand and reverent... Hard to believe that Christianity was ever a poor religion. Wish I could upload pictures, but the damn wifi on my phone is acting up. Went to meetngreet cafe, met some other students and met up with Robert and Catherine. Ryan ditched, and we headed back to the apartment to get pretty for the night. Wandered around Trastevere at night - what a sight to see, with everything lit up and the streets packed with locals! finally found a restaurant (between getting lost, getting distracted with a pyro artist, and looking at menus), and ate. Ordered a pizza e vegetable, was not as good as the ones everyone else had yesterday. picked up some bangin gelato (tiramisu was definitely the winner, whoop!) and headed down to the Tiber to check out the nightlife. Everything was PACKED TO THE BRIM with people, food, games, and so much beer. Met up with Ryan the ditcher (who left with party people 20 mins after we arrived), bought some beers by the River, and toasted to Independence Day. Went back around 130 to catch some sleep so I could wake up in the morning for my Sperlonga trip. Woke up at 330 to a drunken call from the Ditcher at the vatican, completely lost. Hang up and sleep.
Day 4 - Wake up at 7 with only four hours of sleep, head over to the meeting point with Alyse and Mary Margaret. Met a bunch of girls on the bus on the way over the Sperlonga, including a bunch of kids from Rutgers, and basically find a new circle of girlfriends for (at least) the day. Arrived at Sperlonga, the most BEAUTIFUL Mediterranean beach village, complete with white stucco walls and blue doors and views to die for. End up swimming and tanning and eating lunch (had a paella-esque risotto with shrimp and crab and mussels and clams - yum!). It was too hot to go back to tan, so we hike back up to the main village to soak in the gorgeous sights and eat gelato and smoke in the town square. We finally leave for Rome, a three hour trip on the bus where everyone passed out, and here I am. School starts tomorrow, so more updates later.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Back to Basics
It's been such a refreshing change of pace, this summer. From this crazy whirlwind of a year, juggling my internship, RCC, aKDPhi and being mommy, to my schoolwork, my boyfriend (now coming up 11 months!) and my family. I've sacrificed more than I realized, but I've been insisting all along that it would all be worth it. and it has been.
But I'm tired. I didn't realize just how tired until I was able to take this one deep breath and notice how much I'd been missing; notice how little I interact with the friends that aren't associated or not workmates; how grey my father's hair has been getting; how I've been missing out on cultivating new and exciting friendships as well as maintaining old ones; how my grades have been lackluster due to such a hectic schedule and inability to keep my priorities in check (academics, too late do I realize now, ALWAYS come first). This past year has really taken a toll on my nerves and body, and I don't think if it weren't for the steady, loving people that held me up when I let myself break down in private, I would be quite sane today.
So I'm working on it. Working on myself, making sure that I work my butt off for ME and MY grades before anything first. Working on these new friendships, getting to know new people and looking for prospective ******s. Working on mending this huge gap between my family and I, watching late night movies with my brother, gardening for my dad and early morning diner breakfast runs with my mom. Learning what to do with all these newfound time, filling it up with what I enjoy instead of what I must do for the sake of my job, my organization, my sisters. Learning WHAT it is that I enjoy, which was surprisingly simple (reverting back to my nerd days, and finding the next book or drama to obsessively pursue). I'm going back to the basics, finding out what essential parts of me are still here, and have not dissipated in my pursuit of ambition or success. I've owed this to myself for a very long time now.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Precious.
I've mentioned before that I often think of death, and how satisfied I would be with what I've accomplished if my life were to be suddenly cut short. I've always lived by this thought, by the determination that, should that ever happen to me, that I would never look back and see missed opportunities and half-hearted attempts. That I would look back, and see the legacy and the memories I've created, and harbor no regrets. Little did I know that I was thinking of Ying all along.
Ying was incredibly special to me. We were not close; when we spoke the rare times, she was nice but impersonal. But she represented so much to me - she was incredibly successful, a fearless and dedicated leader; she was smart, capable, and confident. She was part of the Cap and Skull Society, spearheaded the very first class of the AACC Internship, and, most importantly to me, re-dug RCC out of its ashes. She was everything I had hoped to become. Her name was carved into everything I accomplished, three steps ahead.
When I'd heard about her passing today, my thoughts immediately went to my thoughts about life, death, and success. Life is so incredibly precious, and could be taken away at any moment's notice. It does not wait for you to accomplish your goals, to mend friendships, to recover from heartbreak. You can't tell it to hold off until your birthday, can't promise it peaceful return in exchange for one last chance. To be able to look back, and believe that I have truly done everything I can and taken every opportunity I could, that is all I could wish for.
Rest in Peace, Ying. You will forever be VIVA RCC.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
birthday cake!
Celebrating birthday a month early, since me nor the twin nor the pops will be in the same country for the first time ever. can't wait for the green tea cake from gateaux tonight... 've been craving cake since the last time I had it.
/fat.
but seriously, though, in the (almost) 21 years me and mei have celebrated our birthdays, we've never had a big shebang of a birthday party... and this is the last milestone for a while. I guess we'll just have to celebrate when we get back...
I feel obligated to do an end-of-the-year post, as I always do, but there's just too much to try to include in to the post, and it's not nearly dark enough outside yet for me to get contemplative. Will revert to drowning out my brain with korean dramas, as usual... i think my episodes finished downloading =]
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